Introducing My Final Game Maker Project

So I've been yammering on a lot about quitting Game Maker (WHICH I AM) but after so many years of dicking around with it I've got all of these little demos & anti-games & failed experiments lying around that, you know, I can't just let go to waste. So I'm throwing them all together into a terrible & ridiculous game called Outer Space Future Battle Massacre 1997.

That is the title because I seriously have a game which is nothing but a title screen that says that & a huge design doc describing a game that I neither recall conceiving of nor have any desire to make.

Is the world ready for a game where the screen resolution changes with every level? Where the controls & mechanics are constantly changing with absolutely no explanation? Where you have no idea of what the fuck you're supposed to be doing but if you do it wrong you are harshly penalized?

Is the world ready ... for OUTER SPACE FUTURE BATTLE MASSACRE 1997?

SokoBondage!

Just finished the last 2 puzzles for CockBlockaz; "Homage" (based on a puzzle from Combiblock, which CockBlockaz rips right the fuck off) & "SokoBondage". Oh yeah, all the puzzles have sweet ass names.

I played through all of the puzzles & loosely ranked them in order of difficulty, just to give some logical structure to the order in which puzzles are unlocked. As the dude who made the puzzles, ranking their difficulty objectively is basically impossible, they mostly all seem way too easy. Maybe they are? I can't tell.

The only big thing left to do is to link the puzzles on the level select screen to the actual puzzles themselves, which will be easy but tedious (drunk programming!). Of course, I've also got an ever-growing list of little tweaks & touch-ups & edge-case bugs which will take more than a minute to push through, but still. Getting close.

CockBlockaz Title Screen

Finished the title screen & very limited options menu. I was planning on having audio & video options available, but you know, fuck that. Don't like the resolution? Deal, mang.

 

The hardest part was the humiliating task of googling Justin Bieber's signature without anyone around me noticing. It was nerve wracking.

Even with it's massively reduced scope, CockBlockaz is a puzzle or two short. I've got a fair amount of work to do with the level selection situation as well. But that's about all that's left except the pile of unexpected bugs & last minute tweaks that is sure to accumulate. I'm cutting the soundtrack, so that'll save a ton of time & effort & honestly, it's a puzzle game. The only reason to give it a soundtrack is because it's a video game & it's two thousand & god damn fifteen & that's what you're supposed to do. Psh.

POTATO CLOCK GAMES DON'T MARCH TO THE BEAT OF NO DRUMMER OR WHATEVER.

Back to Bieber

Taking a Giraffe Adventures break & getting back into CockBlockaz. When faced with a long to-do list as a project starts to wrap up, some people like to start with the biggest tasks while others prefer to get the little things out of the way first. Me, I like to waste a bunch of time MSPainting a giant pixelated Justin Bieber portrait by hand.

BABY BABY BABY OH