Actually, not that much more. It's pretty short. Have fun!
Monday, October 26, 2015
T-Rex Poop Quest Release Announcement
Hyperlink your way over to potatoclockgames.com to check out T-Rex Poop Quest, a short text-based RPG featuring a T-Rex, some poop, and a bunch of quests, among other things. Other things like playground-terrorizing dinosaur punks, a drug addicted pterodactyl, Bill Clinton, a gang of yuppie raptors, plenty of stolen and unattributed art assets and intellectual property and lots, lots, more!
Actually, not that much more. It's pretty short. Have fun!
Actually, not that much more. It's pretty short. Have fun!
Thursday, October 22, 2015
T-Rex Poop Quest
I'm just about finished with the Twine RPG that I mentioned earlier, just some proof reading & balancing & bug squashing to take care of.
When it comes to making a reasonably featured RPG, Twine really isn't the tool for the job. It was fun to make one, and you could certainly make something much more complicated with Twine, there just isn't much reason to. This game was a little experiment to see how far I could push Twine before it stopped being fun & I think I found that point.
It's a short, grindy, fetch questy RPG called T-Rex Poop Quest, and it features what is possibly the most shallow battle system ever implemented in any game ever. Still, I think it brings some things to the table, you know, enriches the genre somewhat. Like, you know how RPGs never have a "Sarah Palin's Fart in a Can" item that you have to carry around? Well, don't worry, we've ticked that box for sure.
T-Rex Poop Quest should be ready to play in like a week.
When it comes to making a reasonably featured RPG, Twine really isn't the tool for the job. It was fun to make one, and you could certainly make something much more complicated with Twine, there just isn't much reason to. This game was a little experiment to see how far I could push Twine before it stopped being fun & I think I found that point.
It's a short, grindy, fetch questy RPG called T-Rex Poop Quest, and it features what is possibly the most shallow battle system ever implemented in any game ever. Still, I think it brings some things to the table, you know, enriches the genre somewhat. Like, you know how RPGs never have a "Sarah Palin's Fart in a Can" item that you have to carry around? Well, don't worry, we've ticked that box for sure.
T-Rex Poop Quest should be ready to play in like a week.
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
OSFBM'97 is Dead.
"In a shocking move, indie giant Potato Clock Games infuriated investors this morning when they announced the official cancellation of the year's most hotly anticipated title, Outer Space Future Battle Massacre 1997. Potato Clock Games could not be reached for comment."
-The Wall Street Journal
-The Wall Street Journal
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
Giraffe Adventures Official Release & Origins Tale
Get it while it's hot from potatoclockgames.com!
The Origins of Giraffe Adventures
So, one day, many years ago, I was bored at work & realized that what little HTML I had learned in high school had evaporated out through my ears & into the cosmos. I threw together some simple linked pages just to assure myself that, in a life or death situation where the most rudimentary knowledge of HTML would come in handy, I would have a shot at survival. Those pages were the first few of Giraffe Adventures. I'd add a little more to it whenever I was bored & it soon grew into an unmanageable pile of HTML files with bizarre names meant to convey their position in the branching structure. I promptly forgot about it.
I stumbled back upon it recently & there were some laugh-out-loud moments, but still, it just seemed like too much of a pain in the ass to work on. For better or worse, someone introduced me to Twine at about this same time, which is a cool, free, open source tool for doing branching HTML story kinds of things. So, fuck, I figured I had to finish Giraffe Adventures now.
It took way longer than I thought it would. I can't believe I spent so much time on this thing. I mean, I'm glad that I did, if ever there were a story that had to be told, it is Giraffe Adventures, but jesus fuck. You know?
Anyway, if you're an alien in the future curating a museum exhibit on The Spectacular Downfall of The Human Race & you'd like to use Giraffe Adventures as an example of the horrifying decline of human culture & society, then maybe you could put the above paragraphs on a little plaque next to the exhibit. Otherwise, I'm not sure of how it could be of any use to anyone. What am I doing with my life?
Love,
Potato Clock Games
The Origins of Giraffe Adventures
So, one day, many years ago, I was bored at work & realized that what little HTML I had learned in high school had evaporated out through my ears & into the cosmos. I threw together some simple linked pages just to assure myself that, in a life or death situation where the most rudimentary knowledge of HTML would come in handy, I would have a shot at survival. Those pages were the first few of Giraffe Adventures. I'd add a little more to it whenever I was bored & it soon grew into an unmanageable pile of HTML files with bizarre names meant to convey their position in the branching structure. I promptly forgot about it.
I stumbled back upon it recently & there were some laugh-out-loud moments, but still, it just seemed like too much of a pain in the ass to work on. For better or worse, someone introduced me to Twine at about this same time, which is a cool, free, open source tool for doing branching HTML story kinds of things. So, fuck, I figured I had to finish Giraffe Adventures now.
It took way longer than I thought it would. I can't believe I spent so much time on this thing. I mean, I'm glad that I did, if ever there were a story that had to be told, it is Giraffe Adventures, but jesus fuck. You know?
Anyway, if you're an alien in the future curating a museum exhibit on The Spectacular Downfall of The Human Race & you'd like to use Giraffe Adventures as an example of the horrifying decline of human culture & society, then maybe you could put the above paragraphs on a little plaque next to the exhibit. Otherwise, I'm not sure of how it could be of any use to anyone. What am I doing with my life?
Love,
Potato Clock Games
Friday, October 9, 2015
Giraffe Adventures Update #4
I've committed myself to never letting my "playtime over the past 2 weeks" stat on Steam go over 20 hours. This has had an embarrassingly positive effect on my productivity. I'm suddenly a week ahead on my homework, I've finished Giraffe Adventures, & I'm about halfway finished with a little Twine RPG which I'll talk more about later.
Right, so Giraffe Adventures is finally finished. It has its highs & lows but overall I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. There are a few laugh-out-louds in there, I think, swimming among the groans & the huh?s. I'm holding onto it for a bit of proofreading, but let's be real, this was not an entirely sober endeavor. It is going to be full of humiliating grammar & spelling errors, not to mention the irreconcilable plot holes & narrative jump cuts. What I'm saying is, I'm not planning on wasting a hell of a lot of time proofreading this. It is what it is & it should be out in the wild next week.
 |
| Giraffe Adventures Final Node Map |
Right, so Giraffe Adventures is finally finished. It has its highs & lows but overall I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. There are a few laugh-out-louds in there, I think, swimming among the groans & the huh?s. I'm holding onto it for a bit of proofreading, but let's be real, this was not an entirely sober endeavor. It is going to be full of humiliating grammar & spelling errors, not to mention the irreconcilable plot holes & narrative jump cuts. What I'm saying is, I'm not planning on wasting a hell of a lot of time proofreading this. It is what it is & it should be out in the wild next week.
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